Let’s start this article with a new magazine cover: Take 5 (Australia), a special edition in May with another two full pages of my story. Go and grab your magazine. Thanks to Veronika for giving me this picture.
I was planning to talk to you about pottery today because it's Mother's Day in many countries (except in France), however, several women confided in me this week and I needed to express their anger and frustration:
Being single is not a sin!
So, here I am, I’m going to debunk a lot of misconceptions in this article, because many singles (women but also men) are tired of hearing the same aberrations again and again ...
I remember once, I had just started a relationship with an Australian, and one of my friends surprised us tenderly clasped at a party, she came to accost me later and said: "I didn’t know you wanted to be in a relationship ... " Of course, I always dreamed of finishing alone and being devoured by my cat - which I don’t have by the way!
Many of us are single by choice, not that we want to be sologamous the rest of our lives (even if some make that choice), but because we want to find the right person, the big love, and nowadays it’s damn hard to find!
We don’t want to be with someone just because society and millennia of religious and moral dictates say we need to, we are very happy single and we are looking for a partner who will be really incredible to change this status. No question of lowering our standards or changing ourselves for anyone, the man or woman of our life will love us as we are, and we are amazing!
"Everyone is looking for the right person but no one is trying to be a good person. " Unknown author
How many singles who tell me that their family, friends, colleagues try to find them someone ... I admit that on this side I have no problem, my relatives have already told me that they didn’t know anyone in my league, hard to stay modest after that hahaha.
Of course, these same people will argue with marriage and children, again, not everyone is aspiring to these sacrosanct values, then I’m living proof that you can get married and consider having children alone!! And besides I'm happy! Reread my articles My Solo Wedding, Gift from Science and Happiness.
Even today we are judged by our marital status, after 30 years old, regardless of the success of our career, the money on our bank account or the number of marathons won, people still think that if you’re single, you’re not accomplished, they almost insinuate that you’re failing in life. Nobody ever asks you if you are happy.
Besides, how many people believe that because we are single, we are necessarily desperate? I had a comment recently from a woman who told me that she was surprised to know that I was single (and moreover married to myself) because I looked very happy and balanced. She, on the contrary, married and mother, looked like at the end of her tether ... Happiness is a personal quest and no code should define it.
"By being happy, we anonymously spread the good in the world." Robert Louis Stevenson.
I’m often asked how I do to go out alone. It’s not because I’m single that I must stop living, and for me out of the question to put my life in parenthesis. I go to the restaurant alone, to the cinema, opera, ballet, museum, concert and horseracing alone, I even go to bars alone!
By the way, the last time I’ve been to New York, I went to the prestigious bar of the Baccarat Hotel and drank a delicious whiskey, comfortably seated on a velvet bench to admire the huge Baccarat crystal chandeliers above the bar. A memorable memory!
Again, from my articles you know that I’ve also travelled all around the world on my own, and how much I have at heart to achieve my dreams, I don’t wait after anyone to do it or help me. I'm not saying it's always easy, I have to motivate myself and kick my butt all by myself without the support of a partner, but it also gives me the freedom to do things at my own pace.
Some articles to read or reread:
Christmas in New York
In the air
Strangely people's perception of me has changed after my solo wedding, no one asks me anymore if I have a boyfriend or if I'm looking for someone. As if to have married to myself, affirmed my quest for happiness and its accomplishment. I’ve always led my life as I wanted and I’ve never waited for people to validate my choices, but today I feel more respected and listened to.
So, to all singles around the world, I'm here for you!! Always be proud of who you are. We are neither monsters nor criminals, we are sensitive people with a heart, we just need more time to find our soul mate. And in the meantime, we continue to enjoy life!!
One of my friends called me Miss Spectacular this week, a nickname that I like a lot, then the song of the article was found "This is me" (from the movie The Greatest Showman):
“I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I meant to be, this is me!”
No article next week, I'll be on the plane (alone!) For new adventures ...
Have a good week and have a Happy Mother's Day!!
Love & Pride,
I’ve already discussed with you the benefits of music on me in my article Freedom with a beautiful performance by Joshua Edelman at the end (listen absolutely!)
I talk a lot about ways to reduce anxiety in recent weeks: Thank you! , Be Positive, Happiness!.
Well, I have to admit that writing a book is stressful, especially telling a story about a drama of my past.
Music is essential in my life and it has been even more so in the last two years. So, you noticed that many of my articles end with a song. This week, I would like to go deeper into the subject and talk about its incredible healing power.
It’s now proven that listening to music influences our brain and therefore our mood. Its benefits are multiple: antidepressant effects, reduces pain, reduces stress, activates memory, helps concentration, acts on motivation, and generally makes us more positive and happier.
So, do it!
I promised you some excerpts from my book, so here's the first one:
I could not have gone through all this without music and its tremendous healing power. I did not know how to express my sorrow and get it out of my body. When you are devastated and think that you will never see the light again, your voice is extinguished. These are the words of others, of all these fabulous lyricists and artists, who extract this evil little by little, note after note. When finally, the voice of someone else seems to speak for us, and comes to describe our pain, our malaise, our emotions, we are already half healed. Like a magic spell that would cancel a curse, or as Stendhal said: "Good music is not mistaken and go straight to the bottom of the soul to seek the sorrow that devours us."
James Bay, I'm absolutely obsessed with this artist right now and I probably listen to him 20 hours a day, the rest of the time, I'm trying to sleep ...
This 28 years-old English singer, songwriter and guitarist, with two albums to his credit, hasn’t stopped since 2014 to demonstrate his talent, and received many awards.
By the way, if you took the time to listen to the song last week - Us - it was a duet with him and Alicia Keys.
His latest song Peer pressure, a duet with Julia Michaels, is addictive!
James inspired me a text with his song titles (you can click to listen to them):
Craving to Slide into your arms, no Peer pressure, Just for tonight, with our Scars and Best fake smile, Hold back the river, Running, Need the sun to break, For clocks go forward, because I believe in Us!
Have a very good week!
Love & Music,