Let’s start this article with a new magazine cover: Take 5 (Australia), a special edition in May with another two full pages of my story. Go and grab your magazine. Thanks to Veronika for giving me this picture.
I was planning to talk to you about pottery today because it's Mother's Day in many countries (except in France), however, several women confided in me this week and I needed to express their anger and frustration:
Being single is not a sin!
So, here I am, I’m going to debunk a lot of misconceptions in this article, because many singles (women but also men) are tired of hearing the same aberrations again and again ...
I remember once, I had just started a relationship with an Australian, and one of my friends surprised us tenderly clasped at a party, she came to accost me later and said, "I didn’t know you wanted to be in a relationship ... " Of course, I always dreamed of finishing alone and being devoured by my cat - which I don’t have by the way!
Many of us are single by choice, not that we want to be sologamous the rest of our lives (even if some make that choice), but because we want to find the right person, the big love, and nowadays it’s damn hard to find!
We don’t want to be with someone just because society and millennia of religious and moral dictates say we need to, we are very happy single and we are looking for a partner who will be really incredible to change this status. No question of lowering our standards or changing ourselves for anyone, the man or woman of our life will love us as we are, and we are amazing!
"Everyone is looking for the right person but no one is trying to be a good person. " Unknown author
How many singles who tell me that their family, friends, colleagues try to find them someone ... I admit that on this side I have no problem, my relatives have already told me that they didn’t know anyone in my league, hard to stay modest after that hahaha.
Of course, these same people will argue with marriage and children, again, not everyone is aspiring to these sacrosanct values, then I’m living proof that you can get married and consider having children alone!! And besides I'm happy! Reread my articles My Solo Wedding, Gift from Science and Happiness.
Even today we are judged by our marital status, after 30 years old, regardless of the success of our career, the money on our bank account or the number of marathons won, people still think that if you’re single, you’re not accomplished, they almost insinuate that you’re failing in life. Nobody ever asks you if you are happy.
Besides, how many people believe that because we are single, we are necessarily desperate? I had a comment recently from a woman who told me that she was surprised to know that I was single (and moreover married to myself) because I looked very happy and balanced. She, on the contrary, married and mother, looked like at the end of her tether ... Happiness is a personal quest and no code should define it.
"By being happy, we anonymously spread the good in the world." Robert Louis Stevenson.
I’m often asked how I do to go out alone. It’s not because I’m single that I must stop living, and for me out of the question to put my life in parenthesis. I go to the restaurant alone, to the cinema, opera, ballet, museum, concert and horseracing alone, I even go to bars alone!
By the way, the last time I’ve been to New York, I went to the prestigious bar of the Baccarat Hotel and drank a delicious whiskey, comfortably seated on a velvet bench to admire the huge Baccarat crystal chandeliers above the bar. A memorable memory!
Again, from my articles you know that I’ve also travelled all around the world on my own, and how much I have at heart to achieve my dreams, I don’t wait after anyone to do it or help me. I'm not saying it's always easy, I have to motivate myself and kick my butt all by myself without the support of a partner, but it also gives me the freedom to do things at my own pace.
Some articles to read or reread:
Christmas in New York
In the air
Strangely people's perception of me has changed after my solo wedding, no one asks me anymore if I have a boyfriend or if I'm looking for someone. As if to have married to myself, affirmed my quest for happiness and its accomplishment. I’ve always led my life as I wanted and I’ve never waited for people to validate my choices, but today I feel more respected and listened to.
So, to all singles around the world, I'm here for you!! Always be proud of who you are. We are neither monsters nor criminals, we are sensitive people with a heart, we just need more time to find our soul mate. And in the meantime, we continue to enjoy life!!
One of my friends called me Miss Spectacular this week, a nickname that I like a lot, then the song of the article was found "This is me" (from the movie The Greatest Showman):
“I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I meant to be, this is me!”
No article next week, I'll be on the plane (alone!) For new adventures ...
Have a good week and have a Happy Mother's Day!!
Love & Pride,
22/7/2022 11:13:17 pm
I am forever curious about the concept of 'validation'. Some things I cannot help feeling validated about. For example, I had quite a long marriage and it took me time to recover when it broke up. All the same, two lovely grown up daughters validate that marriage every day. I took a very late degree in linguistics and that helped to give me a feeling of validation too. I'mm sure that if the books I write ever become successful it'll do the same. What do all these things share in common: they all require commitment, time and effort spent, etc. Being married, per se, doesn't really project any validation if it only demonstrates that someone put very little into it. My guess, in your case, that up until the point you were jilted, you put your heart and soul into the relationship. I'm also guessing you were a victim of what I regard as the great destroyer of relationships, over expectations on someone's part. If that's the case, I can say, 'I understand'. Is it because I have always tried to punch so high? Maybe. I am what I am. I say 'good luck' to you, but you already seem as solid as a rock!
24/7/2022 09:12:43 am
Thank you very much for sharing! I appreciate it!
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